College or bust. Forget football, forget rugby. In the town where I live, the college admissions process is more competitive than any contact sport. This blog chronicles the process.

Monday, January 22, 2007

The Not-Bad-But-Definitely-Not-Good news

I have long delayed writing this because somehow putting it down in words makes it real. So here it is: On December 9th, A received a deferral from MIT.

We weren't home when he received the news, which was probably for the best. He knew the results would be available online at noon, but thanks to Bernie, our efficient mailman, he joined the "thin envelope" club. All those socialites who say one can never be too rich or too thin can't know much about the college app process. In every instance I can think of, thin is bad--very, very bad.

I'd tell you what the letter said, but for the fact that A tore it up into tiny little pieces.

He told us a few minutes after we got home, and it was clear that it was hard for him to get the words out. There were no tears--from him or from us. We simply stood around the kitchen being quiet, feeling stunned, offering the few requisite words of comfort, and in general adjusting to the thought of a world without MIT at its center.

The consolation--the only, only consolation--is that none of the six kids from his school who applied early were accepted. Two were denied outright, and the remaining four deferred. A knows all these boys (yes, all boys), and has a lot of respect for them. So there was some comfort being a member of the group. And much as we thought his third generation legacy might give him a leg up, we learned that one of the other deferees is also a third generation legacy and has a family endowed chair.

I would say the despair lasted about 24 hours on A's part, longer on mine. I've gone through many stages of grief--denial, anger, negotiation, and ultimately, acceptance. So here I am, mid-January, firmly in acceptance. Maybe MIT isn't the right place for him. My husband keeps reminding me how hard it was, what a stressful time it was for him there. And I remember also. We dated as students, and I witnessed first hand the late Sunday night anguish over stubborn problem sets. Isn't there something to be said for a nice, easy-going liberal arts undergraduate experience?

All remaining apps were posted the last week of December. Now we're pretty much in waiting mode. We wait. And wait. And wait.