A Lovely Shade of Brown

My son and 100 or so other equally bright, equally wide-eyed juniors spent the afternoon at Brown being led from one bucolic location to the next. It was all there: the flowering azaleas, the health-flushed youth tossing frisbees in the impossibly pristine quads, the spanking new, $100 million science facility. Who wouldn't want to go here? Apparently, not many. Brown is the most popular school at North. 48 applied last year and a lucky two were admitted. A*, so bound-and-determined not to come on this tour, now doesn't want to leave. "I could see myself here," he says. And from the look in his eyes I can tell that he means it. Who knows, but MIT may have some competition after all.

Let the Tour Begin

Actually, our college tour is not so much a tour as it is a tentative peek. I am dragging A--, kicking but not quite screaming, to take a one-hour tour of the science facilities at Brown. One hour. It's a rainy day, none of his friends are in town, you'd think he'd be delighted at the diversion. But no. He is raising every possible excuse. "Hey, we could go on Friday." Yes, we could, but why not go today? "I was hoping to see a movie." Given that the last movie he and his sister agreed upon seeing was the original Toy Story, I find it unlikely that they'll manage to do so today. No, hi ho, hi ho, it's off to Brown we go.

Three Cheers for College Help From CollegeConfidential.com "

How do I explain the benefits of a visit to "College Help From College Confidential?" The site offers hundreds of free articles on college admissions, college search, financial aid, and college book reviews, plus discussion forum. Visiting the site is akin to what I imagine 12-step meetings to be. "Hi, my name is Sharon, and I have a son going through the college app process." A chorus of sympathetic voices responds, "Hello, Sharon," and I know that I am among friends.

Mission Possible

College responses are beginning to trickle in. And surprise surprise, kids are getting accepted: My college roommate's daughter got into all seven schools to which she applied--Harvard among them--and is currently reveling in the happy fact of having to choose between this illustrious institution and Wheaton (also illustrious in its own way), which came through with a $50,000 merit award. And this decision is difficult why?

A classmate of A*'s at Newton North just got in to MIT! This was thrilling news, as it at least shows that kids from North can actually get in. He was very forthcoming with A*, volunteering his test scores and class load. His one piece of advice to A* was to volunteer. Hmmm. This is definitely a weak point in A*'s resume. It's not that he isn't interested in volunteering, and has certainly enjoyed the few stints he's done in the past, it's that neither he nor I have taken the initiative to set something up. Arguably, it shouldn't be about my initiative, but his. Now he's making tentative stabs at finding volunteer opportunities at the Museum of Science. I'm trying hard not to micromanage this process. Sometimes I'm even succeeding.

I attended a lecture at the high school earlier this week given by a family therapist. The lecture was supposed to be about how to talk to your teen, but it quickly morphed into a talk about how to cut your high school junior some slack. What she had to say had merit, but it was hard to hear. More on this later, but basically her point was to ease up already. Let your kids be who they are. Don't push and prod and nag and try to force fit them into a mold of your making. There was silence in the crowd as she spoke as we each swallowed hard thinking of all the instances in which we'd done just that.